Yesterday, H.A called me. H.A is a good friend of my boyfriend. She told me quite much about marriage, love. She seems quite a person who really knows what she want and works hard to get it. I really admired her for that. However, after the talk, I started to think about my needs, love and everything else. It became a mess in my mind as I could not define what I really want for my life.
I've been there: both stages of life as I want: career and family. When I was 20, I kept the thought that I would swap everything I got into a good career. At that time, my heart was broken like pieces of leaves during winter. Then I believed I needed nothing but works. But for many moments, I did not understand why do I need to live in this life. I felt numb! Then I decided I am - perhaps a very traditional person who enjoys family and love. I changed! When I was 24, I spent most time at home, took care the house, cooked the good meals for my boyfriend and lived a very simple life. Time passed by, and now I felt there is something missing. I missed my work.
H.A told me about the probability to get a job in here within flexible time and the chances for me to get the true lover at home, a happy life... I am not sure which one is more advantage!!!
1 week ago, I received a phone call from Keng! He's a good friend of mine. He told me not to contact him again as his girlfriend is so crazy about me. I was sad! Quite sad! The last word I told him: just do it. Don't worry about me. I then regretted that I did not comfort him at that moment, I was his best friend but that moment I did not say anything, because I was angry! Angry with the fact that I lost him! I hope that his relationship can work out, then it's worth for what I had given up!
