Just had a small conversation with P. Among friends, I considered her as one of the most bright people I've known. She taught me a lot of things from the basic marketing to dealing with emotion in any kinds. She's the only one in this business world that I would not stab on her back or do anything to harm her. I know, sounds crazy huh? But I would never harm anyone who showed their hands when I was in trouble. In addition, I found some kinds of bond between us. Somehow we're quite similar in mindset. I always think that it is waste for her to stay in Vietnam for so long.
Back to the story of us, P recently experienced some depression after breaking up with her boyfriend after 5 years dating. I know this would happen someday. But to be honest, I did not want to see that and I did not expect it happened when she was so ready for full-time wife position. Is there any really - third party who can ruin 5 years relationship? I don't think so. All I have in mind is maybe her love is not really enough or she- actually like me- is not ready for wife being. It's funny huh? I guess!
For so long, I was convinced by the thought that it should be the man who start a relationship or finished it. Yeah, women did a lot of things. Men thought that they were just after women after all. But can you see it's always a man who decides every situations??? !!! You might say it always be a woman who slips the word"break up" first! But I think if the man did not do something wrong, why does she want to break up? We- women are not that complicated as men thought. All we need is just unconditional love from men. As long as we feel love from men, we won't break everything we had or trade it for granted. Even if we cheat on men, it is because men force us to go on the other ways!
OK, sorry for that silly thought, back to my dear P, we had some similar idea about "in relationship" such as: losing our habit, hobbies, styles, everything that we used to be. P that I know once was talented, strong women who pursues brilliant career and supports charity. She was always confident with what she had. Now there is she, quite feminine but losing the gut to move. You may tell me about many cases out there where a lot women are happy with wife- position. I know it and used to dream about it. I have seen many people willing to give up those identities just for her true man. I have nothing to against that but I keep asking myself does the man worth that for me to give up everything I had? It's surely worth if I find the right one. Then Bang! The next question: who is the right one? Haizz! Sorry, I lost in my mind, again! P said that during dating time, she has changed into another. Agree! I used to think that I lived closely with who I was during relationship with my boyfriend but actually, silently I changed into someone he wanted me to be. P also stated that she lost her habit and hobbies soon after dated that guy. I understand that.
Well, after relationship it remains sadness for those who are 18-20. P is close to 30 now, so I don't bother that she would be collapse after the broke up . I believe she will be better soon. However, what is better for us? Our freedom, identities or real family? I doubt about it. Right now we may happier when we can go on our ways, but later, when we turn to 30s somthing, will it be OK being alone? I don't think so!
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